Some People Problems and Some Specialist Problems
In Counselling: We shall explore together any events and/or relationships from the past that you feel are still impacting on your happiness today. We can often gain insight into 'why' something keeps happening to us and we can think about how you can use that knowledge to make different and more positive choices.
In Therapy: We will look at any unwanted psychological and physical symptoms you are experiencing and our main focus shall be helping you to leave negative behaviours behind, in order to move forward towards your own goals in a positive way. You will be given 'tasks/homework' to do e.g. asking you to practice relaxation exercises at home in between therapy sessions.
In Relationship Therapy: I will help couples/individuals communicate openly and safely, to express needs and expectations of the relationship. Never addressing issues, or constantly arguing, can feel like there is no way forward. We will work together to identify and leave unhelpful ways of reacting behind, in order to bring an increased sense of connection and harmony between the couple.
In Psychosexual Therapy: A specialist in depth assessment is carried out to diagnose 'what' (if any) sexual dysfunction is occurring and 'why' a problem has arisen (including all the factors that contribute to that). Couples/individuals are asked to carry out tasks/homework at home and feedback about each session is given to the Therapist. A shift for the couple from the unhelpful status quo towards more positive and pleasurable activities can be gained this way. We will recognise that Therapy is usually a once a week occurence, but repetition practice (of tasks) between appointments will greatly improve change to any unwanted behaviours.
In working with Sex & Love Addiction: An addiction is something that takes over normal life in a harmful way and which is extremely hard to 'not' engage in, even when your life may depend on that. A specialist assessment process helps to identify what urgently needs to be addressed, such as any unsafe sexual/love practices; that threaten reputation, employment, financial status, partner and family relationships. We will work to contain the problem, and once emotional and behavioural stability has been achieved, we can explore 'why' a person may be susceptible to sexual or love addiction. Healing work (including with partners) is needed to address deep emotional shame and guilt and the usually damaged couple relationship. For women, there are extra barriers (e.g. social stigma) preventing you coming forward for help. Sadly in 2019 a Male with Sexually compulsive behaviours, provides fuel for jokes & nudge, nudge wink, whilst women are labeled as sluts or worse. Please don't let feelings of embarrassment stop you from contacting me. My role is to help you to stop unhealthy behaviours, in order to find a happier you. I will help you understand more about why you do things and show you how to stop self destruction, I will help you to begin to heal, to have peace and I will never judge you in your struggles. Why would I - I am not perfect and we all have our struggles?
In working with Supervisee's: Therapists need different tyes of Supervision at different stages in their career, but also in terms of approach. If you would like a deeper understanding of why e.g. you are reacting strongly to a client and maybe why you feel I (as Supervisor) don't seem to understand your difficulty as much as you wanted - then we are able to look deeper into our internal working models from a position of trust and acceptance and gain a richer view of Client/Therapist/ Supervisor relationship dynamics. Too often I hear Therapists say that Supervision is just a tick the box exercise. I think there is a huge loss of opportunity there. A Therapist should feel able to be open with the Supervisor, to not hide mistakes (we all make them and learn from them) and to explore their unique client and Supervisor relationships.How would I describe myself as a Supervisor? I am not overly serious or intense, appropriate laughter makes for great connection and helps to lighten the load. I am flexible and creative. I guess I'm not much of a fan of Therapy without goals that the client wants to work towards . Therapy is heavy on time and money investment & people present for Therapy because they want 'something'. I would say at the very least to be able to understand themselves better. If this sounds like the type of Supervision you think you could benefit from - I would be pleased to receive an email of enquiry from you, without any obligation on your part.