Castaway Therapy Counselling, Addiction & Sex Therapy

Updates: Psychotherapeutic Supervision (including PST) offered . Saturday morning Therapy appointments now available in Kelso


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A warm welcome to my website
I am Lesley Inglis , accredited Psychosexual Therapist (online & face to face) and I invite you to consider what I can offer, if you are struggling with issues, or if you are stuck and would like to find a happier place to be, within yourself. I touch on numerous topics below and in my Nightbird's blog. It may feel a little overwhelming to some, so I suggest in the first instance, find what is relevant to you, then read as much or as little as you wish. If you know you want to work with me but your particular difficulty is not mentioned here, just send me an email to ask if I work with that condition/issue and I shall happily & swiftly reply.

As a Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist, Online Counsellor (& Pychotherapeutic Supervisor)
I have been providing Counselling and Psychosexual Therapy in the Scottish Borders, Edinburgh, Newcastle and Berwick upon Tweed, over the past seventeen years. I specialise in treating various difficulties that I address on these pages and work within a sunny atmosphere of respect, acceptance and confidentiality. I understand how painful emotional distress can often lead to feeling vulnerable and afraid. Let me help you to find the strength and courage to move forward from a state of angst and closer to a calmer, more positive way of being. If you have Fibromyalgia, are Expats, with relationship difficulties & Mental Health conditions, I will also be happy to hear from you.
I Supervise Clinical & none Clinical personnel & PST (Psychosexual Therapy) students and qualified Therapists,

What kind of people problems do I work with?

General Difficulties:

  • Relationships problems e.g. frequent & unresolved arguments, affairs, IVF, internet affairs.
  • Mental health e.g. trauma, stress, anxiety, depression, jealousy, bereavement & loss.

    Specialist Difficulties
  • Sexual dysfunctions e.g. erectile, ejaculation, low desire, pain, orgasm, phobias, fetishes, TV's.
  • Sex addiction & Love addiction e.g. pornography, chat/hook up sites, escorts , for age 18+
  • Partners in shock & traumatised by their Partner's distressing sexual behaviour, (or other).
  • Toxic parents helping adult children detach & separate from dysfunctional parent(s)-Individuation.
  • Substance misuse e.g. illegal and legal drugs, alcohol and meds. Affected relatives welcome.
  • Chronic pain e.g. fibromyalgia & CFS, understand how pain is affecting your life and relationships.

    Ladies, research shows that when it comes to sexually compulsive behaviours, it is even harder for women to come forward to ask for help, in comparison to our male counterparts. Why is this? Woman are sadly still labelled in derogatory ways, leading to stigmatisation, self-blame, and outright shame. If you have a sexual problem that you feel you can’t share with anyone, e.g. sexually compulsive behaviour, (or compulsive behaviour around love/relationships), please be reassured that I am very experienced in working with female issues and this kind of unwanted behaviour. Don't turn away and tell yourself - 'I will manage on my own', you will know how hard that is, if you have already tried to stop 'acting out'. If you are worried about embarrassment, please don't let that hold you back. You will not be judged, I am only interested in helping you to understand yourself better & helping you to choose positive behaviours, leaving the destructive behaviours behind and therefore leading a free & happier life.

    There are literally hundreds of Therapists to choose from, so why choose me?
  • The majority of clients I work with, have achieved the goals they set, in our work together.
  • I am a fully qualified and very experienced Sex & Relationship Therapist that works online (as well as face to face) .
  • I have plentiful & varied experience and confidence in working with complex difficulties.
  • I work successfully to help people to stop compulsive use of porn, web sex, fetishes and (substance & behavioural addictions).
  • I work successfully to help people stop Love addiction behaviours & heal the painful losses, females & males experience.
  • I have experience working with 'Celebrities/people in the Public eye & understand the resulting increased pressure they feel.
  • I can help Partner's heal and I do not blame them for their partner's addiction.
  • I have experience of working with Couple's 'in recovery'. Addiction has stopped, but their relationship has suffered.
  • I work daily with common mental health conditions e.g. anxiety, depression, panic, distress intolerance, OCD etc
  • With adult children of Toxic/dysfunctional parents, I help them heal & commit to a relationship, they can prioritise over parents.
  • I work flexibly & creatively, as I appreciate everybody is an individual and one little adjustment can bring success.

    I specifically bring Compassion to the therapeutic work. Promoting understanding & healing from self-criticism & shame.
    Online work covers the UK & worldwide clients. Face to face appointments are held in Kelso, Hawick & Berwick upon Tweed . Venue premises are discreet i.e. do not indicate the nature of work carried out and clients could be attending for a number of reasons. Everybody is welcome and I encourage women with e.g. Sexual or Love addiction to come forward. I will put you at ease and help you feel less shame. 'Nobody' is ever judged, as my role is to understand your struggles, their impact and how we can work together to help stop any destructive behaviour & embrace new, positive behaviour.
    Contact me now Email Enquiries for a Free no obligation 30 min online Consultation session

    Confidential, comfortable & discreet premises for face to face appointments in Kelso and now in Hawick
    Online Psychosexual Therapy
    * Sex, Porn & Love Addiction, (women are stigmatised re 'sex addiction' & also men as 'love addicts').
    * Fetishes; I urge you not to fear disclosure of fetishes. It's just another human activity & all in a day's work for me.
    I am very experienced in making people feel comfortable & a sense of humour definitely helps.
    We shall explore to bring understanding and help to stop any unwanted fetish behaviour.
    * Relationship Therapy, help you understand yourself better & your partner & how you work together as a couple.
    * Individual Therapy & Counselling for a wide number of issues that impact on your happiness

    I also offer individual Counselling to prevent sexual offending, (& traumatised partners & relatives ) to keep behaviour within the UK legal system.
    *Straying onto illegal Internet sites (commonly but not exclusively, showing underage children in sexual situations), can lull people into a false sense of security i.e. that they are anonymous and that nobody is getting hurt, because no physical contact occurs. These are just 2 untruths about viewing 'llegal websites. STOPSO
    With easy access to sex websites, porn, chat lines, hook up sites, escorts and more, it is becoming increasingly tempting for people to start exploring ‘edgy’ activities and this can easily spiral into illegal behaviour. Young men/teenagers are particularly at risk of becoming dependent on porn. If you are worried about sexual offending and want to work to stop this, please email me. Partners and other family members who are emotionally impacted by this behaviour can also access help. I am particularly reaching out to women as well as men to have courage to come forward for help.
    I work confidentially & none judgementally, having trained with StopSo to help prevent Sexual Offending. Whether you are having difficult thoughts e.g. tempted to explore illegal websites or you have been cautioned or charged with an offence, I will work with you to help you stop any further sexual offending and to also understand why this behaviour occurs and what you can do to stop it, in order to keep others and yourself safe.
  • Prevention of Sexual Offending STOPSO (Scottish Borders) is for people who are sexually attracted to children, e.g. (but have never acted on this attraction, or prevention (and treatment of relapse). Men that are ‘lost’ into the world of child abuse, (both internet or face to face), you are NOT anonymous, you will be caught and your life and lives of the people you care about will be devestated. Your partner may leave you and child protection services commonly make a man leave his home – to keep his children safe. Your Employer will also be notified. Do you want that? Don’t bury your head in the sand – you don’t have to wait for the knock on the door, take ACTION, get help now.

    What can you expect from working with me on difficult issues?

    I shall listen carefully to you and will ask questions to help me understand your difficulty, i.e. the assessment process. I shall also be specific about what is helpful and what is unhelpful, if you wish to change any behaviours that are problematic. I consider all aspects of human behaviour without embarrassment and will put you at ease. I have wide experience of people and their challenges. I feel privileged to help you understand yourself, situations and relationships better and to take steps to make positive changes, if that is your wish.


    How many sessions do people need? Initial Free 30min Consultation -overviewing difficulties

    I work with individuals and couples on an open-ended basis or a set number of sessions. I am very experienced at providing brief therapy (6 session model) for mild to moderate mental health difficulties. A lot of couple work is helping partners to have difficult conversations, to understand each other as individuals and your needs as a couple. Online Psychosexual Therapy and Addiction work is likely to be a longer term therapy. If you just want one session to find out if working with me is right for you, that is also ok. What is most important is that I work with 'people' not just conditions or diagnoses. I offer a safe, trusting and genuine therapeutic relationship built on empathy and compassion.

    Working as Qualified Online & Face to face Counsellor UK using Instant Messaging, Email and Voice

    As a trained and qualified Online practitioner, I provide Online Psychosexual Therapy via instant messaging, (no webcam protecting identity) Email Therapy and voice - i.e. talking via Zoom, Online platform . This means that I can work as a counsellor with people from any geographical area from SW10 to G1 and TD postcodes. Successful online work is tremendous in helping people who; feel embarrassed, live in rural areas, are parents with small children, have physical disabilities and people in the public eye. I welcome, and offer women, love addiction counselling online, as they may be able to engage with this more easily, whereas the thought of having to speak face to face in a session may be too overwhelming.

    If you wish to work with me or just want to find out more, I look forward to hearing from you. I offer face to face appointments in Kelso, for people in the Scottish Borders, (e.g. Eyemouth, Chirnside, Duns, Greenlaw, Gordon, Kelso, Earlston, Galashiels, Selkirk, Hawick, Innerleithen and Peebles areas) and also Berwick upon Tweed. I provide a contract of terms and conditions covering all necessary points to help protect both of us from a legal, professional, moral and ethical situations.

    Psychotherapeutic Supervision for Students, Counsellors, Therapists & none clinical personnel
    Usually the first question I am asked about this is, 'what is Psychotherapeutic Supervision? Validated by Counselling and Psychotherapy in Scotland (COSCA), the supervision course I undertook to be trained in, was developed as a result of a new approach to counselling. The Supervision course was fundamentally about ‘making meaning’; underpinned by attachment theory it integrates counselling theories from orientations including Psychoanalytical, Cognitive Behavioural and Humanistic schools (Person Centred and Transactional Analysis). This is 'not' Therapy for Therapists, but it is about having an awareness of both Supervisee and Supervisor sensitivities and using that knowledge productively to facilitate an open Supervisory relationship and to help Supervisee's to be the best Therapists they can be.

    Face to Face appointments available in Kelso TD5 area and Hawick TD9 area in the Scottish Borders. Please Email for more information.
    I look forward to hearing from you.


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