Castaway TherapyCounselling, Addiction & Sex Therapy

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Free 30 min Consultation session “We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” — Kavita Ramdas

Sex & Relationship Difficulties. Sex/Porn/Chat/Love/Risky Internet images addiction, fetishes, Kink aware/friendly Online Sex Therapy & Addiction; Relationships, Mental health conditions 6 session model of Therapy for mild to moderate problems New 10 session tailor-made programme for partners or family of people sexually offending. Many clients from Belfast Glasgow, Edinburgh Newcastle UK.

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A warm welcome to my website
I am Lesley Inglis. Senior accredited Psychosexual Therapist & Supervisor, qualified in online work, as well as face to face, this means I have been trained to give therapy online e.g. & to overcome any hurdles that may arise, or that clients may be worried about in the online setting. I invite you to consider what I can offer. If you are struggling with issues, or if you are stuck and would like to find a happier place to be within yourself, read on, but before you do here is a link to what a good Psychotherapist should offer Choosing a good Psychotherapist
I touch on numerous topics below and in my Nightbirds blog. It may feel a little overwhelming to some, so I suggest in the first instance, find what is relevant to you, then read as much or as little as you wish. If you know you want to work with me but your particular difficulty is not mentioned here, just send me an email to ask if I work with that condition/issue and I shall happily & swiftly reply.
As a Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist, Online Counsellor (& Pychotherapeutic Supervisor)
I have been providing Counselling and Psychosexual Therapy UK wide e.g. in the Scottish Borders, Edinburgh, Glasgow , London and Belfast, over the past fifteen years. I currently work online. I specialise in treating various difficulties that I address on these pages and work within a sunny atmosphere of respect, acceptance and confidentiality. I understand how painful emotional distress can often lead to feeling vulnerable and afraid. Let me help you to find the strength and courage to move forward from a state of angst and closer to a calmer, more positive way of being. If you have relationship difficulties, Mental Health conditions, Fibromyalgia, are Expats, I will also be happy to hear from you.
I Supervise Clinical & none Clinical personnel & PST (Psychosexual Therapy) students and qualified Therapists, I also offer a single Supervision Consultation session, for practitioners needing that extra bit of input.

What kind of people problems do I work with?

General Difficulties:

  • Relationships problems e.g. frequent & unresolved arguments, affairs, IVF, internet affairs.
  • Mental health e.g. trauma, stress, anxiety, depression, jealousy, bereavement & loss etc.

    Specialist Difficulties
  • Sexual dysfunctions e.g. erectile, ejaculation, low desire, pain, orgasm, phobias, fetishes, TV's.
  • Sex addiction & Love addiction e.g. pornography, chat/hook up sites, escorts , for age 18+
  • Partners in shock & traumatised by their Partner's distressing sexual behaviour, (or other).
  • Toxic parents helping adult children detach & separate from dysfunctional parent(s)-Individuation.
  • Substance misuse e.g. illegal and legal drugs, alcohol and meds. Affected relatives welcome.
  • Chronic pain e.g. fibromyalgia & CFS, understand how pain is affecting your life and relationships.
  • Love addiction i.e. people believe they can't live without their lover & this becomes top priority•
  • HOCD Homosexual Compulsive Disorder, now known more fittingly as 'Sexual Orientation OCD' is a condition where individuals are continuously plagued by thoughts and feelings that they may be gay. This is not about working with people that know they 'are' gay or, are conflicted about their sexuality. Or people that want support to be able to 'come out'- those are different pieces of work. This is about the distress people experience by unwanted, unrelenting thoughts they are gay and how that negatively impacts on their mental health. It is not about 'converting' people to a heterosexual orientation, which is an approach I do not support in any way.•
  • Kink I have some training in Kink & understand clients may wish to talk about it.
  • Ladies research shows that when it comes to sexually compulsive behaviours, it is even harder for women to come forward to ask for help, in comparison to our male counterparts. Why is this? Woman are sadly still labelled in derogatory ways, leading to stigmatisation, self-blame, and outright shame. If you have a sexual problem that you feel you can’t share with anyone, e.g. sexually compulsive behaviour, (or compulsive behaviour around love/relationships), please be reassured that I am very experienced in working with female issues and this kind of unwanted behaviour. Don't turn away and tell yourself - 'I will manage on my own', you will know how hard that is, if you have already tried to stop 'acting out'. If you are worried about embarrassment, please don't let that hold you back. You will not be judged, I am only interested in helping you to understand yourself better & helping you to choose positive behaviours, leaving the destructive behaviours behind and therefore leading a free & happier life.

    There are literally hundreds of Therapists to choose from, so why choose me?
  • The majority of clients I work with, have achieved the goals they set, in our work together.
  • I am a fully qualified, accredited and very experienced Sex & Relationship Therapist that works online
  • I have plentiful & varied experience and confidence in working with complex difficulties.
  • I work successfully to help people to stop compulsive use of e.g. porn, web/chat/sex,sites, fetishes and (substance & behavioural addictions).
  • I work successfully to help people stop Love addiction behaviours & heal painful losses, that females & 'males' experience.
  • I have experience working with 'Celebrities/people in the Public eye' & understand the resulting increased pressure they feel.
  • I can help Partner's heal and I do not blame them for their partner's addiction, (female partners tell me of their prior experience of this).
  • I have experience of working with Couple's 'in recovery'. Addiction has stopped, but their relationship has suffered.
  • I work daily with common mental health conditions e.g. anxiety, depression, panic, distress intolerance, OCD etc
  • With adult children of Toxic/dysfunctional parents, I help them heal & commit to a relationship, they can prioritise over parents.
  • I work flexibly & creatively, as I appreciate everybody is an individual and one little adjustment can bring success.

    I specifically bring Compassion to the therapeutic work. We all think we 'know' what compassion is, but in a Therapeutic sense it is a specific Therapeutic approach that promotes self understanding & healing from self-criticism & shame.
    Online work covers the UK & worldwide clients. Currently, I can't offer Face to face appointments. Everybody is welcome and I encourage women with e.g. Sexual or Love addiction to come forward. I will put you at ease and help you feel less shame. 'Nobody' is ever judged, as my role is to understand your struggles, their impact and how we can work together to help stop any destructive behaviour & embrace new, positive behaviour.
    Contact me now Email Enquiries for a basic Consultation, (no obligation , up to 30 min online session) I hold Consultations between Therapy appointments & therefore they are strictly 30m mins max. If you want to be able to take your eye off the clock, to tell your story & be heard, please book an Assessment appointment -by email.

    Online Psychosexual Therapy
    * Sex, Porn & Love Addiction, (women are stigmatised re 'sex addiction' & also men as 'love addicts').
    * Fetishes; Fetishes you will be surprised to know, are common. I urge you not to fear disclosure of fetishes. It's just another human
    behaviour & all in a day's work for me. I don't judge, don't blame and don't shame.
    I am very experienced in making people feel comfortable & a sense of humour definitely helps.
    We shall explore to bring understanding and help to better manage any unwanted fetish behaviour.
    * Relationship Therapy, help you understand yourself better & your partner & how you work together as a couple.
    * Individual Therapy & Counselling for a wide number of issues that impact on your happiness

    I also offer individual Counselling to prevent sexual offending, (& traumatised partners & relatives ) to keep behaviour within the UK legal system.
    *IOIK (If only I'd known). Straying onto illegal Internet sites (commonly but not exclusively, showing images of underage children in sexual situations), can lull people into a false sense of security i.e. that they are anonymous and that nobody is getting hurt, because no physical contact occurs. These are just 2 untruths about viewing illegal websites. STOPSO
    With easy access to sex websites, porn, chat lines, hook up sites, escorts and more, it is becoming increasingly tempting for people to start exploring ‘risky’ activities and this can easily spiral into illegal behaviour. Young men/teenagers are particularly at risk of becoming dependent on porn. If you are worried about sexual offending and want to work to stop this, please email me. Partners and other family members who are emotionally impacted by this behaviour can also access help. I am particularly reaching out to women as well as men to have courage to come forward for help.
    I work confidentially & none judgmentally, having trained with StopSo to help prevent Sexual Offending. Whether you are having difficult thoughts e.g. tempted to explore illegal websites or you have been cautioned or charged with an offence, I will work with you to help you stop any further sexual offending and to also understand why this behaviour occurs and what you can do to stop it, in order to keep others and yourself safe.
  • Prevention of Sexual Offending STOPSO (Scottish Borders) is for people who are sexually attracted to children, e.g. (but have never acted on this attraction, or prevention (and treatment of relapse). Men that are ‘lost’ into the world of child abuse, (both internet or face to face), you are not anonymous, you will be caught and your life and lives of the people you care about will be devastated. Your partner may leave you and child protection services commonly make a man leave his home – to keep his children safe. Your Employer will also be notified. Do you want that? Don’t bury your head in the sand – you don’t have to wait for the knock on the door, take ACTION, get help now.

    What can you expect from working with me on difficult issues?

    I shall listen carefully to you and will ask questions to help me understand your difficulty, i.e. the assessment process. I shall also be specific about what is helpful and what is unhelpful, if you wish to change any behaviours that are problematic. I consider all aspects of human behaviour without embarrassment and will put you at ease. I have wide experience of people and their challenges. I feel privileged to help you understand yourself, situations and relationships better and to take steps to make positive changes, if that is your wish.

    How many sessions do people need?

    I work with individuals and couples on an open-ended basis or a set number of sessions. I am very experienced at providing brief therapy (6 session model) for mild to moderate mental health difficulties. A lot of couple work is helping partners to have difficult conversations, to understand each other as individuals and your needs as a couple. Online Psychosexual Therapy and Addiction work is likely to be a longer term therapy. If you just want one session to find out if working with me is right for you, that is also ok. What is most important is that I work with 'people' not just conditions or diagnoses. I offer a safe, trusting and genuine therapeutic relationship built on empathy and compassion.

    Working as Qualified Online & Face to face Counsellor UK

    As a trained and qualified Online practitioner, I provide Online Psychosexual Therapy via Zoom. This means that I can work as a counsellor with people from any geographical area from SW10 to G1 and TD postcodes. Successful online work is tremendous in helping people who; feel embarrassed, live in rural areas, are parents with small children, have physical disabilities and people in the public eye. I welcome, and offer women & men love addiction counselling online, as they may be able to engage with this more easily, whereas the thought of having to speak face to face in a session may be too overwhelming.

    If you wish to work with me or just want to find out more, I look forward to hearing from you. I provide a contract of terms and conditions covering all necessary points to help protect both of us from a legal, professional, moral and ethical situations.

    Psychotherapeutic Supervision for Students, Counsellors, Therapists & none clinical personnel
    Usually the first question I am asked about this is, 'what is Psychotherapeutic Supervision? Validated by Counselling and Psychotherapy in Scotland (COSCA), the supervision course I trained in, was developed as a result of a new approach to counselling, both Supervisor and Supervisee experiencing relationships with mind, body and soul . The Supervision course was fundamentally about ‘making meaning’; underpinned by attachment theory it integrates counselling theories from orientations including Psychoanalytical, Cognitive Behavioural and Humanistic schools (Person Centred and Transactional Analysis). This is 'not' Therapy for Therapists, but it is about having an awareness of both Supervisee and Supervisor sensitivities and using that knowledge productively to facilitate an open Supervisory relationship and to help Supervisee's to be the best Therapists they can be. Specialities are Supervision for Counsellors /Therapists working with university students & Psychosexual students & qualified practitioners.

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